i gave me away

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 19:03:21 GMT

"so i talk to myself, studying my reflection in the dirty window. as we pass on the road will you make me clean again?" i remember when i wrote that song. i was too young to know that no girl is gonna wash my hands. no one can make me new again. i already gave myself away.

oh, how i long to be pure.
and one by one i'll drown all of the people i have been.

and it's taken years of being different
to find out all of this
but i'm the same
i'm the same
i'm the same
i'm the same
oh, i'm the same.

i can't wash my hands.

so here i am.
"take me for all i am worth, take me for
all
i
am
."

i don't feel anything

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 20:53:13 GMT

it's a gray afternoon i'm way too awake and i can't be this anymore. it's not so much a death as it is a disappearing but it is what it is and after all i exist. i'm trying to figure out what i want because i'm tired of being who i am over and over. because i'm tired of following in your footsteps.

so here's to stepping out.
oh, i'm getting so fucked up tonight.

//edit8:34pm - a visitor

balance out everything
take me back
oh, god.

i don't feel anything
no, i don't feel anything.

yeah, we're both needy
here's my anxious body
(here's my empty heart)
but we're screaming for our lives
eyes shut tight.

i looked in the mirror and i'm glad, cause i saw no trace of me or my broken heart. or of her. so i'm no one, and she's his muse.

well ha, ha, ha.

say it with a smile, at least
on your way out of my bed
"i'll call you tomorrow"
you won't.

i'm motionless.

first few lies, the

i gave me away

i don't feel anything